"Employee Evaluation"

[Be sure to read through to the bottom]


Bob Smith, my assistant programmer, can always be found
  hard at work in his cubicle. Bob works independently, without
wasting company time talking to colleagues. Bob never
  thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always
finishes given assignments on time. Often he takes extended
  measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping coffee
breaks. Bob is a dedicated individual who has absolutely no
  vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound
knowledge in his field. I firmly believe that Bob can be
  classed as a high-calibre employee, the type which cannot be
dispensed with. Consequently, I duly recommend that Bob be
  promoted to executive management, and a proposal will be
executed as soon as possible.

Addendum:
That idiot was standing over my shoulder while I wrote the report sent to you earlier
today. Kindly re-read as follows. Read the first line, ignore the second line, read the next line, ignore the next, and so on.